Last week I wrote about bullying. I shared my own experiences of being bullied at school and later at work, and talked about Amy Cuddy's recent work on bullying and social bravery. I wasn't expecting the response I got. I received a lot of private messages. Some were from people telling me what had happened to them. Some were from people who had witnessed bullying and never stepped in, and were still thinking about it years later. Some were genuinely disturbing. A few turned

When I was twelve years old, I was the most academically successful student in my classroom for a long while. Getting into our school was kind of a big deal. In Turkey’s high-stakes education system, we had all spent two grueling years — from nine to eleven years old — studying for a nationwide standardized test. We spent our weekdays, weekends, and endless hours at school, in cram schools and at home with private tutors to earn our seats. Everyone in that building was ambit

I remember things. I remember what someone said in a meeting four years ago, the exact phrasing, and the pause before it. I remember who promised to introduce me to whom and never did. I remember the tone of an email from 2019. I remember which song was playing in the taxi on the way to an interview in 2014. I remember the name of the person who was kind to me on my first day somewhere, and the act of kindness itself. For a long time I thought of this as an asset, and in

I start looking for my keys three streets before I reach the door. I've only ever been locked out once or twice in my life because I forgot my keys. And I've never had an emergency that required me to have the keys already in my hand, ready to be inserted into the lock the second I reached the front door. Yet there I am. Three streets away, rummaging through my bag. The bag is deep, the walk from the gate to the door is about eleven seconds, and I would rather not spend those

I was seventeen, about to turn eighteen, when I landed in California to start college. I had a suitcase, a dorm assignment, and a class schedule with a required course on it called Literature 10. The first book assigned was The Odyssey. I had loved Greek mythology since I was a child, so on paper this was a gift. What I had not expected was to read it in that particular week, in a country I had been in for four days, at an age where I still had to do the arithmetic to work ou

A senior executive I coach recently sat in the armchair opposite me, took a long sip of espresso, and asked a deceptively simple question: “Merve, why am I so profoundly lonely?” This is a man with a striking curriculum vitae, a seat on two prominent boards, and an enviable global network. He is an expatriate, navigating life far from his Mediterranean roots. Yet, as he entered mid-life, he looked around his beautifully appointed living room and realized it was structurally h

A while ago I started working with a newly promoted leader - let's call her Hannah. Thirty-two, sharp, and suddenly running a team where several people had a decade more tenure than she did. She came to me because meetings were going sideways. She would make a recommendation and watch it sit there, unanswered, until someone older repeated a version of it twenty minutes later and the room nodded. So she did what a lot of capable young leaders do. She worked harder at being cre

I've never met a leader who looked forward to a reorg. Not the ones who initiated it. Not the ones who had to implement it. And certainly not the ones who found out about it on a Tuesday afternoon via a calendar invite titled "Important Organizational Update." Over the last eighteen months, reorgs have become a near-constant backdrop for the leaders I work with. The reasons vary — AI-driven restructuring, cost pressure, post-merger integration, strategic pivots, new leadershi

Most countries celebrate their national day on the date they declared independence, won a war, or became a republic. France has Bastille Day. The United States has the Fourth of July. Ireland does something different. St. Patrick's Day, held on March 17th, marks the feast day of Ireland's patron saint — the anniversary of his death in 461 AD. Not a revolution. Not a founding moment. A death. And the man being honoured wasn't even Irish. Born in Roman Britain in the late 4th c

Three months after my Google career came to an end, someone asked me at a dinner event: "So, what do you do?" I hesitated before I started answering. It wasn't that I didn't have enough going on for me to be able to give a coherent answer. I was building my executive coaching business and working with a few exciting businesses as an advisor / consultant. I hesitated because none of them felt fully-baked yet. It all seemed too hand-wavy. For 11 years, the answer had been e

As the year winds down, I’ve deliberately slowed my pace to reflect. I’m writing this from the USA, far from my own home, and that distance has been surprisingly helpful. Being away has given me perspective — on what worked, what didn’t, and what I didn’t do this year that I want to be doing more of. 2025 was a strong year. Productive, expansive, and intellectually stimulating. The work grew in scope, the rooms got sharper, and the range of what I delivered widened meaningful

A few months ago, a client came to our second session. She'd always been composed, strategic, the kind of person who thinks three steps ahead. That day, she was exhausted. "I quit," she said flatly. "Sent the email this morning. No backup plan. Just done." She'd been at the company for six years. Senior role. Respected. Good at what she did. From the outside, everything looked fine. But when we unpacked it, nothing had been fine for months. She'd been drowning in admin work t

Few leadership moments test your integrity like a layoff. There’s no easy way to tell someone their role is being eliminated. Even when it’s necessary — a restructuring, a funding slowdown, a market shift — it leaves a mark on everyone involved. And while companies often focus on legal compliance, messaging, and PR risk, what really defines a leader in these moments is how they show up. Layoffs aren’t just about who leaves. They’re about who stays.

Eight years later, she still remembered the message. It was 2016, and I was preparing to welcome a new hire to our team at Google. She...

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I coach high-performing leaders. People who’ve built companies, managed global teams, survived reorgs, scaled revenue, raised kids,...

I was sitting in a coffee shop last week, eavesdropping on two women at the next table (don't judge me—it's occupational hazard as a...

As the final notes of Austria's "Wasted Love" still echo in my mind, I find myself processing the whirlwind of emotions, controversies,...

Some trends build slowly. Others gather pace quietly, then seem to be everywhere all at once. That’s what happened with Dubai chocolate....