What Money Can't Buy
- Merve Kagitci Hokamp
- Aug 11
- 5 min read
Why the most successful leaders I coach never mention salary first
Last weekend, I found myself at a dinner table with six accomplished professionals – a VP at a tech startup, a senior partner at a consulting firm, a successful entrepreneur, and three other high-achievers who, by any external measure, had "made it." The wine was flowing, the conversation was deep, and somehow we landed on the question that haunts every successful person: "What does being rich actually mean?"
What followed wasn't what you'd expect from a group earning well into six figures.
The Question That Stopped Everyone Cold
"If money wasn't a factor in your next career move," I asked, "what would you do differently?"
The silence that followed was telling. These weren't people struggling to pay rent or worrying about their next meal. These were individuals who had achieved financial security, yet something in that question hit deeper than expected.
The VP was the first to speak: "I'd probably take that Chief Product Officer role I turned down because it meant moving to a smaller company. Less equity upside, but the mission actually mattered to me."
The entrepreneur nodded: "I'd shut down my current venture and start something in education. The margins are terrible, but God, I'd wake up excited every day."
This conversation reminded me of something I see repeatedly in my executive coaching practice: when I ask senior leaders what they want from their next role, money is rarely the first thing they mention.
The Fulfillment Gap: What My Coachees Really Want
In coaching C-suite executives, successful business owners, and senior leaders, I've noticed a pattern. When we dig past the surface-level career goals, past the expected answers about "growth" and "impact," what emerges is remarkably consistent:
They want their work to matter.
"I want to build something that outlasts me" – Senior Director, Fortune 500
"I want to solve problems that keep me curious" – Senior Vice President, Financial Services
"I want to lead teams toward something meaningful" – Entrepreneur, Series C Startup
What's missing from these desires are: Salary negotiations. Stock options. Bonus structures.
These conversations happen with leaders earning $300K, $500K, even $1M+ annually.
Once you've secured financial freedom, the conversation shifts entirely.
It becomes about significance over success, purpose over profit.
The Gen Z Wake-Up Call
This isn't just a senior executive phenomenon. Generation Z has thrown down the gauntlet with their rejection of traditional 9-to-5 culture, but not for the reasons many assume.
According to Deloitte's 2024 Global Gen Z and Millennial Survey, 83% of Gen Z workers say having a sense of purpose at work is essential—ranking it higher than salary growth. They're not lazy or entitled; they're simply refusing to accept the false choice between financial security and meaningful work.
"I don't want to spend 40 years climbing a ladder leaning against the wrong wall," one of my younger coachees told me recently. She turned down a $50K salary increase to join a B-Corp focused on sustainable technology.
This generation is forcing a conversation that many senior leaders have been having privately for years: What's the point of being rich if you're spiritually poor?
What Money Actually Can't Buy
Research from Harvard Business School professor Michael Norton reveals something fascinating: once basic needs are met, additional income has diminishing returns on happiness. But certain things remain priceless at every income level:
1. Time Sovereignty
The ability to control your calendar, to say no to meetings that drain your soul, to prioritize deep work over reactive busywork. I've coached executives making $1M+ who feel more trapped than entrepreneurs making $100K.
2. Intellectual Stimulation
Money can buy education, but it can't buy curiosity. The most fulfilled leaders I work with are those who wake up excited to solve complex problems, regardless of the financial reward.
3. Authentic Relationships
Professional networks built on mutual value creation versus transactional career advancement. The difference is palpable and becomes more important as you climb the ladder.
4. Legacy and Impact
The knowledge that your work contributes to something larger than quarterly earnings reports. This desire only intensifies with seniority and success.
The Leadership Paradox
Here's what I've observed: the leaders who care least about money often make the most of it.
They make decisions based on long-term value creation rather than short-term compensation optimization.
They build cultures that attract top talent.
They take calculated risks that others won't because their motivation isn't purely financial.
Conversely, leaders who optimize primarily for compensation often plateau.
They become risk-averse, politically motivated, and ultimately less valuable to organizations seeking transformational leadership.
A Framework for Rich Decision-Making
When coaching executives through major career transitions, I use what I call the Wealth Hierarchy:
Level 1: Financial Security – Can you meet your needs and reasonable wants without stress?
Level 2: Time Freedom – Can you control how you spend your days?
Level 3: Intellectual Engagement – Does your work challenge and stimulate you?
Level 4: Relational Depth – Are you building meaningful professional and personal connections?
Level 5: Purpose Alignment – Does your work contribute to something you genuinely care about?
Most leaders get stuck optimizing Level 1 long after they've achieved it, never progressing to the levels that actually create sustainable fulfillment.
The Dinner Table Revelation
Back to that dinner conversation. As the evening progressed, something beautiful happened. Each person began sketching out not their next financial goal, but their next meaningful challenge.
The consultant talked about transitioning to nonprofit work. The entrepreneur outlined a passion project in renewable energy. The VP started planning her transition to a Chief Impact Officer role.
None of these conversations would optimize their net worth. All of them would optimize their life satisfaction.
The Question That Shifts Your Mindset
As an executive coach, I've learned that the right question can redirect an entire career trajectory. Instead of asking "How can I make more money?" try asking:
"What would I do if I already had enough money?"
For most senior professionals reading this, you probably already do have enough money.
The question is whether you have enough meaning.
What would you do if money wasn't a factor in your next career move? I'd love to hear your thoughts. And if you're a senior leader feeling stuck in the golden handcuffs of a well-paying but unfulfilling role, let's talk about what's really possible when you optimize for the right kind of wealth.
About the Author: I help senior executives and entrepreneurs design careers that generate both financial success and deep fulfillment. Because the richest life isn't always the one with the biggest bank account.
Hi, I’m Merve 👋
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